Hey, Queen! Talking Racial Ambiguity with Christian Gann and Aimee Amour

In this very special episode, I have a one-to-one real-talk session with my son, Christian Gann and his drag persona, Aimee Amour, who is also a DJ in NYC and music producer.

In this episode, Christian is back for his second interview on Our True Colors. If you missed the first interview, you can check it out here. It's linked below, as well.
In this episode, Christian talks about his experiences as a multiracial makeup artist and drag queen and shares his perspectives as Aimee. You don't want to miss it!

References in this Episode:

• Aimee Amour on Instagram
• Aimee Amour on TikTok
• Intersecting Communities: Pride & BLM

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If this is your first time with OTC, check out EPISODE 1: START HERE for more background on the show.

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Transcript

Transcript by Otter.ai

Welcome to our True Colors hosted by Shawna Gann. Join her as she explores the challenges of being a racial, racial, and ethnic Enigma, and a cultural conundrum. Let's dive in.

Shawna  00:23

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of our true colors. As always, I'm thrilled that you're here. This episode is extra special to me, because my guest today is Christian Gan, who is my son, along with Christian will be Amy a more. So you've got to check out this episode as Christian talks about what it is to be a person who is multiracial, and how that plays a part in his career as a drag queen. So kick it with us as we talk about racial ambiguity. And what that looks like through the lens of intersectionality. And career. All right, sit back, y'all enjoy the show.

Shawna  01:15

Hey, kid, what's up?

01:16

Hey, I'm doing well. How are you?

Shawna  01:19

I'm good. He's laughing y'all because we're in the same house. Ah, so we're having this episode together, but not together? Because, you know, technology?

01:34

Yes, we'd love it. Yes.

Shawna  01:37

Well, okay, so for those of you who haven't met Christian before, I will put a link in the show notes to the previous episode that we've done together. So you can get a little bit of background check things out and so on. But in the meantime, why don't you introduce yourself a little bit.

01:53

Hello, everybody. Again, it's nice to be back. I am Christian. But also in this episode, I'm going to be Ami. So we're going to talk a little bit about that, too. I live in New York right now. Currently working as a professional makeup artist. So feeling very fancy right now. Yeah, and I'm just back home for a little bit. And then you and I got to talking and we figured that we needed to have this conversation.

Shawna  02:22

Yeah, we were just like pretty much hanging. Okay, I'm just gonna disclose. You're watching Glee, y'all. Okay, because it was it's like, it's been so many years, I almost forgot so many of the characters, I'd come home from something I didn't know. And as Christians daddy's visiting, so Billy was on. We were watching a little bit. And just one thing led to another, we started having this conversation and you were like, You know what? A lot has changed. It's time to talk. And one of those things you said you will also be Amy. So maybe introduce Amy.

02:54

Amy is my drag persona full name, Amy amour. I've been doing drag for about two years now. But ever since I moved to New York, I really started picking it up. So I've been doing performances and been doing a lot of fashion Expo days and little events. So that's been really cool and super fun.

Shawna  03:15

Fun for me to to kind of watch through Instagram. And then the fun little pictures I get on the side. Like, I'm so special to texted me I don't have to catch him in a story. But I mean, it's awesome. And you're doing some really amazing work. So there's gonna be like links to AMI stuff too. So you can check out Amy, but to this conversation today, and kind of how we got here. As y'all know, Christian is my son. And again, you'll see the link if you haven't already heard the previous episode. In fact, if you already heard the episode, go back and listen again. So you can learn a little bit more in terms of context. But you've probably heard and remember through previous episodes that I'm in an interracial marriage. So I'm black, my husband's white, which means Christian is biracial. But here's the funny thing about this is and this is where the conversation came. I know Christians biracial Christian knows he's biracial, as do others in our family. But if you were to pass them on the street, you might not imagine that so why don't you talk a little bit about how you see yourself in terms of your racial identity, and some of your experiences as others see you. Yeah.

04:31

In terms of my ethnic identity, I definitely identify as biracial I recognize that I am half black and half white, but I feel like on the outside with what people see me as or how I'm perceived. I look just white. I just look like some white kid on the street. No one would be of the wiser. And that's okay. I don't blame them. I I do look very light. So do Traditionally, in most spaces, if I don't know the people too well, I just introduce myself as I mean, I don't have to say that I'm white. But I don't go into my family history as much. I don't explain being biracial because it definitely turns into a very extensive conversation.

Shawna  05:19

I think most of the listeners on the show would, would relate to that. So I mean, I guess, it's not like it's a natural thing that comes up in most introductions, you know, like, pronouns are becoming a little bit more than norm. Hi, I'm so and so my pronouns are, but I haven't yet heard the version that's like, Hi, I'm so into my pronouns are this and this is my racial identity. It's not showing up in signature blocks yet,

05:42

can we start doing that too, because that would make certain things way less awkward as well, I would not be opposed to

Shawna  05:47

your signature block. I'm joking. But there are so many stories about people who say I sound one way on the phone or whatever. And then they show up in person. And they can see the actual reaction from folks who are genuinely surprised that they don't look the way that the person had imagined them. So I don't know, maybe maybe have a little bit more information and the signature block would be useful. But at the same time, you know how it goes like, no one wants to be in a place where we actually like, why is that an important thing? You know? But anyhow, I'm sure that you've had some interesting experiences, what happens when you do get to the part where people are asking for a little bit more, and you are explaining a little bit more?

06:36

Usually people just assume I'm lying. Or like, I'm joking. Like, oh, like,

Shawna  06:40

if you say, I'm biracial, they say, You're joking.

06:43

They're just like, I heard that was a good one. And I'm like, No, I'm serious. And like I was telling you the other night, I literally have our family photo with you, Grammy nanny, and the uncle, aunt, like all of them together in the photo. So it could be like, This is my immediate family.

Shawna  07:02

You said you have it in your favorite. So you could just pull it up.

07:05

It's ready. It's like my Id like I just have it ready to pull out whenever I need it. And yeah, so that's usually where I just take them through a brief kind of like, this is what my family looks like. It just so happens that this is what I look like. And that's just the circumstances of the matter. And most of the time, people understand that. I think some people are a little skeptical. I've gotten the occasional will Your mom must be mixed. And I'm like, No, she's a light skinned black woman. But she is a black woman. Like she is not mixed. She is not biracial, I should say, because there is definitely a mix there. But you're not biracial.

Shawna  07:47

Yeah, we do have a lot of mixed heritage. Definitely multi ethnic. more black than not y'all, but I, that confuses people, it's too much. I used to joke around, but that I was going to start carrying around my Ancestry DNA, like just print that sucker out and pull it out just or have it in the Favorites just like you do. Like, here's, here's my wheel if you need me break down the percentages, because people are,

08:13

what did I say? Like an ID just have that ready to pull out? I'm ready. You can even make them like business cards. Like you can take this and read this on your own time.

Shawna  08:22

Yeah, but come back for the update, because they've sent an updates every quarter. Yeah, I mean, I talk a lot about my experiences, most of the time, people do guess that I'm biracial. And I'm not, or they will assume that I'm Latina, or something, people will like, automatically speak to me in Spanish. And a lot of it has to do with whatever hair I'm rockin. So are there different circumstances for you, as to how people either receive the information that you're biracial or make any assumptions about your identity?

08:57

I mean, for the most part, no, I think, like I've said, some people are occasionally skeptical, but through a quick explanation and just kind of showing more photos, they tend to get it they're like, like, I can see that that makes sense. But no, like assumptions have been made. I think questions have been asked, when that's when my culture comes into play. And they're like, Okay, so you were raised by a black mom and a white Dad. What does that look like for you culturally, and the truth of the matter is like, you and I have always had such a strong relationship. I feel like I have picked up a lot of things culturally from you. Most of the family that I see is on your side of the family. So growing up, even though we were overseas most of the time, I just associated myself with being also culturally biracial, but connecting more with my black heritage, which is there. So that's all has been an interesting factor that I don't still to this day not know how to explain. Because I'm like, Yeah, culturally, I do feel black too. But it definitely is an issue when I'm in an area with other black people where they might be confused if I say something that a white person normally wouldn't say. And they're like, so when did you learn to say that something smells like outside?

Shawna  10:33

Has that really happened? 100%? Really? Yes. I guess I didn't even know that was a certain phrase that was for. I didn't get I never do that. I think that's just something I always

10:45

I have never heard a white family say that someone smells like outside. That is so funny. Kyle, my boyfriend, his family would never say that.

Shawna  10:55

What would they say?

10:56

I don't know. You smell like grass or something. But you don't smell like outside?

Shawna  11:02

I didn't read that about it.

11:04

That's funny. I could be wrong. But in my experience, I've only heard it from one demographic. So I feel like that's just one of those things that I've picked up.

Shawna  11:13

So you get kind of the huh, uh huh. Where'd you learn that white boy? Let me tell you to open up the favorites. Uh huh. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah.

11:28

It's an adventure every time.

Shawna  11:31

I know that I've asked you before and it just something interesting to talk about, particularly on this show, as I speak to even other guests who aren't my kid, for folks who are multiracial or biracial? How would you describe your culture? If you find yourself connecting, and one way knowing that you have all these other aspects to your identity? Like, if you met somebody for the first time, and they were like, where are you from? What's your life? Like? How'd you grow up? Well, I'm you know, those are very loaded questions for like military family. Let me let me try again. That's gonna be like, That's the AFA commercial.

12:09

Okay, it'd be like, do you have three hours? Because right, we can go into that.

Shawna  12:13

You're right, there's so many layers there. Okay, so keeping it simple? How would you describe the way culture manifests in your life?

12:25

To be honest, I don't know if I can necessarily put the words to it in the way that I would want to, because it's so complicated to me. And it would be so complicated to explain, like, I was kind of saying, like, culturally, I definitely do identify with the black half of my family. Sometimes more than the white half of my family, I don't know, if we, we could get into the whole conversation about what white American culture really is. But I think I connect so much with our Black Heritage there because it is a history worth holding on to. And it's something that's important to me, because as someone who is very white presenting, and is very perceived as white, it would be especially important for me to hold on to that, because when I'm invited into black spaces, there is that level of connection and empathy that I can have. But then also in situations where I might not be in a black space, but I need to defend or explain black spaces, black culture, or people because someone is either misinformed, or they're just spouting disinformation. That's important to me, because that's something that I can do. As someone who does carry white privilege with me, I feel like it is especially important to me to hold on to that, to understand that and use my voice where someone might not be in the room to use theirs.

Shawna  13:56

So I'd like to spend a little time here because you basically getting into ally ship, and you know, with True Colors consulting, when I work with companies and with people who are, you know, interested in training or coaching and, and things like that a lot of people want to know what it really is to be an ally. Or they say like, I want to be an ally, I want to make sure I'm being a good ally. And we're not going to spend our time getting into like definitions because I start to talk more about advocacy, and there's levels to this, right. But you are touching on that. And that's one of the things that I do share with folks, whether it's your being an ally for someone who has been racially marginalized, someone with disabilities, perhaps or you know, there's so many different ways that we can be others and that we hold privilege that others may not so we can, you know, step up. So that's basically what you're describing. I just like to know a little bit more about that. What is it like for you when you're in a space and Someone is making the assumption that you're white. And they just say the things, because that's something that comes up a lot on their show people will tell tell me all the time. Yeah, people don't know that I have this other aspect of my identity. And so they just feel comfortable saying all this stuff. And here I am, like, either that represents me or that represents my family or something like that. So PG, talk about that a little bit, maybe what your experiences are in those situations.

15:25

Yeah, fortunately, I haven't had to be in too many situations like that. But in the chance that I am, I feel like there's kind of layers that I need to sort of go through. Okay, depending on how deep or difficult the conversation is. So like, the first layer, I feel like comes with a general understanding of my white privilege before I even need to get into, by the way, I am half black. Let's talk about that. It starts with, I do have black family and I do have black friends. But before I even explain that it's the initial you're wrong. Your opinion is wrong. It is not based on facts, I'm sorry. And this is why so it's kind of like the factual level first, I feel like that's something that you can go into statistics, you can go into kind of the political aspect of things. First, if they're still digging, that's when I pull out my by the way, I'm half black cards, this is why I know this too.

Shawna  16:31

I see. So first level stats, socio political positioning, explanation next level, okay, now we're going to go down identity,

16:41

because then it's also a personal affront. They don't know that. But it gets into that, because I'm like, Okay, so now you're just being stubborn about this, you are purposely not listening to the base level facts that I just laid out for you. So let me go into a more personal aspect of why this is an issue. And that's when I pull out that card, because I'm like, You don't understand, because you wouldn't think that just based on looking at me. But as someone with a black mom, and a whole black family, that I am very connected to more now more than ever. It's hurtful. So then comes out through emotion and that level of empathy to because it's more than just, hey, you're wrong about black people or people of color in general. Now, it's Hey, you're wrong about me, too.

Shawna  17:35

Yeah. I'm sure that probably makes them take pause. Once you get to that spot.

17:40

It's it's definitely happened before I won't go into the details here about who that's been with, and in what situation, but it has happened on a very personal note with close people. And I feel like that's when it's a bit of a shocker to them, because then they're like, very apologetic. I didn't know I didn't get it. And I'm like, No, but you shouldn't have had to know, for me to even go there. But let's talk about that, too. Yeah. So there's that.

Shawna  18:11

Wow. So earlier, I asked you how your identity kind of manifests in terms of your culture and things like that, and your experiences. But the other day, we were talking and you kind of began to tell me a little bit about not only how it manifests, but also how you would like for it to manifest. But there being some nuanced barriers, let's say, I think you know where I'm going. So I'm gonna turn it over to you and let you just sort of tell your story because I, I actually had to sit back and go, Huh, I guess so. That's interesting. So why don't you take over and fill in the blanks?

18:53

Well, this is Amy talking now. This is how this came into play. This is how this conversation even started. We were kind of talking about this. It was like an offshoot conversation based off of something that we had seen in glee. And we were talking about pop culture, and we were talking about music and how identity comes into play in that. And I had mentioned that an obstacle for me as a drag queen is how do I show myself my true self in my queen persona, because when I'm all in makeup, and I have my hair on and my outfit, there have been instances where we've gone out and people no longer saw me as just white. I've gotten that I looked like a Latin queen or I did look by or multiracial. And it's not that I do I know y'all can't see me right now. But if you look at my pictures, it's not that I do anything. I'm super crazy or dramatic with my makeup or hair that would purposely make someone think that I just feel like there's like another layer on top of me, there might be a way that I paint and it just happens to exaggerate features where my biracial jeans then are revealed. I don't know what it is, but it happens. And so I think as a drag queen, it's very important for me to show my culture. Because that's what drag is really all about too. It's showing yourself culturally and making an extra, it's making it big, it's being proud of it, and bringing something new to the table with it. But I struggle, because I feel like I can't fully do that without seeming like I'm appropriating black culture.

Shawna  20:54

Okay, so for real, we're about to dig into this. But before we do, because there could be a lot of listeners who are familiar with drag, but don't really know some of the ins and outs of it. So could you describe, in your own words, what drag is first of all, so that way, as people keep this in mind, you know, that way, people can keep this in mind as they listen to more of your story. So more than just, you know, putting on clothes that are, you know, different from the gender type that we're used to and more than makeup, tell us what drag is.

21:33

That's difficult to answer because I feel like drag is different to everybody who participates in it. Even it's different to those who watch it purely just as entertainment. I personally believe. And I think some others might agree with me that drag is the performing art form of building a character taking a persona and making it bigger than making it extra, making it innovative in a way that no one has thought of before. But using all of the tools of fashion, makeup, hair, music, taking all of the things that we consider iconic and popular culture and blending it into something new, fresh and entertaining.

Shawna  22:23

I thought that was a beautiful definition, actually. I mean, it really helps. Who are some celebrities that people might be familiar with, that you would describe as drag or using drag? That would surprise someone, right? Like so if you said RuPaul? Like everybody be like, oh, yeah, robot. But who would be some examples that might help us better understand what drag can be? That isn't sort of a stereotypical way of thinking about it. Right?

22:56

Well, I think the first example that comes to mind is definitely Lady Gaga, especially in her early meet dress, crazy blue hair, crazy, calm, Darsan outfit, where she can't even turn around. Like, that's Lady Gaga, that our people are mostly familiar with that for me screams drag.

Shawna  23:17

Okay, wait, I'm gonna interrupt you. Yeah, I know, you. And I've talked about this, but I want you to tell a little bit more. Okay, how can Lady Gaga be an example of drag if she's already a woman?

23:27

Because drag is not exclusive to men dressing up as women. It's an idea. It's a concept. It's, like I said, taking that thing that people recognize is iconic and making it better and bigger and shinier. So Lady Gaga does this all the time. Like she doesn't to this day still, but like, really back in her prime, she would walk out on the runway, and people would not have a clue what she was doing. But the girls who got it got it. And of course, who didn't did it. Like it was like this is drag because I'm going to use the Meet dress as an example because I think that's the most like ridiculous exams pretty over the top. It was over the top. But yeah, the meat dress is a harrowing example. Definitely the most ridiculous I think, version of her drag. She walked out on the red carpet covered and slabs of fresh raw meat. It was disgusting. And I remember it definitely like had people split because some people were like, This is insane and crazy. This is who Gaga is. I love it. And there are people like this is filthy and revolting. Why would you do this? But she later explained that the dress was a message about the Don't Ask, Don't Tell bill. And she went on to explain further that we're all just meat under the skin, and in the military, you know, you're going out to war, you are just me, it does not matter if you are gay, you can still defend this country, you're just meat, but it doesn't matter if you're gay or not. So that's that is drag as crazy and as polarizing as that example was, that is what drag is because it is also using iconography and using crazy fashion statements or makeup or even in a number to tell a message to.

Shawna  25:36

Yeah, I mean, I think there's a lot of queens who definitely have the message they want to be delivered, and they do use their queendom. To do so. Yes. And

25:45

that's why it's been especially difficult for me, because I'm still trying to figure out my message and how I can tell that when people don't necessarily know what my culture is when they first see me, or they don't know how to assume.

Shawna  26:01

All right, well, let's get there. So let's talk about that. What are some of the challenges you face as a drag queen? When it comes to culture,

26:10

the first example is just at face value. So when someone sees me, and they see me as just a white queen, I have gotten the, oh, she's just another white fashion girl. So they assume that there's no substance behind what I do. They think I'm just there to stand look skinny and pretty. And that's all I'm about. And if that's what I wanted to be, that's what I wanted to be like,

Shawna  26:39

I want to be skinny.

26:44

Look, there are girls out there who do that. And that's their thing and go out, that's you, you're skinny, you're pretty I live for it. But I definitely believe that there is substance behind what I do, there is a lot of thought. And there's a lot of art in what I put into my drag. Where it gets hard is in performance, because we'll backtrack a little bit to when I was growing up. And like I said, I've always had a very close bond with you. And I feel like musically, we've always had that connection. My love and appreciation for music came from you. And the music that we listened to was traditionally like 80s 90s, hip hop, and good ol r&b, you introduced me to a vast array of different music artists and styles, but most of them were black artists. So I feel like that definitely inspired my music taste, and also my music style, because I do produce music. That is a big part of who I am. And I'm definitely trying to like, marry that with my drag. Where I am struggling, is in performing other people's music and then making my own. I don't know where the line is where I appear that I am appropriating black culture, through my music. And it goes beyond just music to like, what I'm not going to do is step up on the stage and locks because the visibly that would look very uncouth. I think people would look at me and be like that, no, we're not doing that. And that's okay with me, I understand that. I just don't appear like that's appropriate. But musically, when it comes to like, rap music, hip hop, r&b, there are so many artists that I would love to channel their energy from, I would love to like go back to when I was a kid listening to that and kind of like, bring out that same life that it gave me. But I am afraid of the potential backlash from someone watching and coming up to me and say, Who are you to perform that song? And that way. So that's where I get lost, because culturally it is a part of me. It is how I was raised. And it is important to me. I love it. And I love that it is a part of me. But I wish I didn't have to sacrifice that so that people wouldn't question my motives.

Shawna  29:31

Right? Because they don't, because when they're looking at you, they don't see a black man. Exactly where Amy they don't see Amy as being a black woman.

29:40

Exactly. And that's, again, I completely understand that that is fine. But I'm trying to find balance and I feel like that's partly why it's been so difficult for me to go out there and perform as confidently as I would like to because I'm not trying to be another Britney girl. I'm not trying to be another switch Dee, I'm not trying to do a dolly song, because I will that is traditionally within the wheelhouse of white queens, because the white girls in the club, live for it. But I'm also trying to connect with my black family members and community members that are there because they are a part of me somehow, even if they don't know it, and I want to connect with that, I don't want to be just another white fashion girl who does the same numbers because it's what's appropriate? Or what seems appropriate on the outside?

Shawna  30:36

Yeah. Yeah. So that's, that is a challenge. I can totally imagine that because you're like, This is me, this is who I am. But you don't want to walk around with a sign be like, it's okay that I listen to the song because I have a black family of black culture. Right?

30:54

Exactly. Because I feel like that. And I feel like it would almost paint a little bit more of a target on my back. Because they're like, why are you trying to justify this? Something's up? You know, so you,

Shawna  31:05

you know, and I know this because I've known you for a little while.

31:11

Just a little bit.

Shawna  31:12

You've been making music since you were three years old. That's, that's no lie. I might even have to put a little, little audio sample in here. It might happen

31:23

with audience info.

Shawna  31:27

Oh, well, that'd be a fun surprise.

31:28

No, we're gonna have to check that out. Before this episode gets aired.

Shawna  31:35

I like surprises. No. Okay. It depends. Alright, bookmark. Now we'll come back to that. But no, seriously, you've been making music forever. So how, and you mentioned you're a producer, you know, you've produced music now. And that's very much part of how you want to, I guess, continue for Amy to develop and her entertainment. Have you considered how you can bring in your culture through your own music, rather than, you know, performing to other artists?

32:09

Absolutely. I mean, there are little nuanced ways that I feel like I can pay tribute to the music that I grew up with. Most of the music that I do make is electronic, in a way I make a variety. But a lot of it is like something that you if you're in a club to something to dance to, that more high energy, heavier hitting kind of music. And one thing that electronic artists do all the time is they sample other songs. So I would see no issue and like sampling something from a Whitney Houston song, or

Shawna  32:47

like, I'm gonna start them out, but I don't know if they're, they're like Heavy D to boys. Exactly. That's

32:51

what I was gonna say. Like, there's, there's so many, especially in hip hop to where sampling music is part of hip hop culture. That's how a lot of that came to be. So those have roots in house music, too, because house music came from the hip hop scene. So there are a lot of familial relations in those two genres.

Shawna  33:15

Okay, so you made me think about something. Here's an interesting thing. So you're talking about sampling. And the other day Your dad and I were, were out dinner or something. And music, you know, like at the restaurant, they played music, and it was Michael McDonald.

Shawna  33:50

The thing about Michael McDonald, and he's not the only one. There are so many of these artists you like listen to them singing they sound like a black singer, or what you what you imagine, you know, black singer, is a white man, but later came regulate with Warren G. And it's the same baseline like it's totally sampled from that song.

34:12

Black and white when he was on the streets trying to start school, so I can get some swelling.

Shawna  34:24

So you go from white man, it sounds kind of r&b singing, I keep forgetting to orangey My point is Michael Donald, white guy, r&b kind of sound and dude. Then you got regulate. With Warren G. You know, it may dog so but the same baseline sampling happening there. And there's always the question like, if a black artist performed music by a white artist, somehow people don't question or bat an eye. But if it's a white Artist or in your case, someone who is perceived to be white performing music by a black artist, then people have questions. And I know that has a lot to do with our history. Right. And the fact that there's been a whole lot of appropriation that has happened, right. So I get that. But I think that's a pretty clever way, you know, sampling. And I happen to know that you write music to lyrics, everything. So what have you thought about something like that, too?

35:27

Yeah, absolutely. I feel like it plays a part in how I write my instrumentals and the lyrics themselves. So I could fully just tell my story through words. But that's too easy. I like a challenge. So I feel like one interesting way that I like to kind of blend the two musically even without words, is taking, like, going back to the roots roots, and taking like Afro beats, and how those influenced hip hop, I want that to also influence my dance music too. So I always get the this is when I get super nerdy, but I always get that. I don't know what it what it is about your music. But it sounds like Safari jungle, I said, it's very tribal. I'm like, No, those are just, it's just Africana, percussion. It's just a style that doesn't automatically put you into the jungle. That's the style of music. And you can hear that in ABC. And I can sort of like point out where you can find that style of percussion, or where you can find that particular even just like a drum style, in the rhythm, not in the rhythm not in the instrument itself. I'm like, this is where this stems from. And that's how this influenced this genre and this genre. And that's why you're hearing it in this pop song now. So I like to get nerdy about it too. But in a way, it also helps me to inject my own cultural experience feel like this is why this connects with me so much. So there's been clever ways, but I feel like that's when you really get into the behind the scenes, it's the music, but when I am on stage, and I have not been ready to perform a song that I've written myself. But if I am on stage, and Cena suddenly a Janet Jackson number, or Milli Vanilli comes out onto the speakers. I'm not ready for someone to be like, Who do you think you are?

Shawna  37:42

Well, people, if you lip sync to Milli Vanilli that's kind of meta since they was lip syncing the whole time.

37:47

I think that that would be funny, but we'll get there.

Shawna  37:51

Oh, my God, Milli Vanilli? Well, you know, this makes me think a little bit of you shared, we were watching the Beyonce video the other night. Yeah, formation. And it brought about an interesting discussion. Because, you know, when I listened to that song, and watch that video, and it's, you know, kind of her going back like, this is where I'm from, which I got especially interesting, because I know that Beyonce and I share one thing, and that's having Creole roots to that is a very interesting concept, you know, to share about your background, with others through music as she has done. And the one thing that I found very interesting is until then, obviously Beyonce is an icon, right? People love Beyonce and look to her. And I mean, she's Queen Bee, right? But that doesn't mean we get to know who celebrities are music artists are. And so she wanted to tell that part of her story. But it made me think about people who are racially ambiguous or ethnically ambiguous in some way. And wanting people to know, this is who I am, because otherwise you leave it to their assumptions or their guesses. And anyway, I just thought that that was very interesting, because it makes me think of this situation that you're in where you want people to know who you are. It's just about how to tell that story.

39:16

Yeah, I mean, I could get very clever, and I could do the same thing that she did. And literally just write a song and be like, these are my roots. This is who I am. This is what I'm about, you know, but also, because I am not a global superstar yet. I don't think that that would connect with people. Thank you yet. I'm not there at the moment. So I feel like it's a bit easier for her to do because everyone who has heard formation pretty much knows who Beyonce is. And so we've all kind of had an idea of who she is as a celebrity.

Shawna  39:57

So it was like here's this next chapter. If exactly the what do you call it? Like the appendix, here's the extra information,

40:04

right? But for those, the majority of the world who does not know me just yet, introducing myself as an artist as a drag queen, as a music producer, that journey is a little bit more difficult for me because I fully could go out there and be like, Yeah, I'm biracial, what's up, and then just kind of go off that way. But when you're thinking about music, I feel like that's not going to connect with new listeners in the way that I would want it to impact them. So I gotta get a little bit more creative. And I've got to blend my image, my performance, so how I dance and what music I'm using to tell that message. And I feel like I love being Amy. I love showing that side of me. I love the beauty. I love the glamour. I love the work and the art that goes into it. But I haven't found the message yet. Yeah. And I'm looking for that. But I have to be careful. Yeah,

Shawna  41:09

I get that. And I think that is just kind of the same path that all of us go through as we go on our own identity journeys, right? We are always looking for who we are and how we want to present ourselves. I don't think that would be any different from Amy. Well with that, where can we find you? Where can we find AMI that way people can follow you so that as you go on that journey, there'll be right there with you?

41:38

Well, as of yet, I just have an Instagram and Tiktok account with AMI and they're both the AMI Mr. So that's th e a IMEAM. Oh, you are

Shawna  41:49

cool. And it will be linked as well. So you guys can check out Amy and all the greatness.

41:55

There's more greatness to come. I might Tik Tok account is still fresh. I'm still creating new content. So I will hopefully have more stuff to share. And I'm always doing another photo shoot. So I can't wait for y'all to see more of that.

Shawna  42:08

Yeah, yes. All right. Well, is there anything else that you'd like to add? Before we close?

42:14

I just want to thank you for letting me have this conversation openly, not just with you, but like with everyone too. And I'm hoping that I can connect with some of your listeners and have that conversation because it'd be really nice to kind of relate to people that way too. And maybe get some insight.

Shawna  42:28

Yeah, like I said, we had this conversation. I was like, Oh my gosh, that's definitely something to consider. So yeah, keep the conversation going. Yeah. Well, thank you for hanging with me.

42:39

Absolutely.

Shawna  42:40

This has been awesome. I really appreciate you sharing your story. I appreciate you too. Thank you so much. Take care, you too.

Shawna  42:59

Hey, I really hope that you enjoyed this episode. It was super special to me. And I think that it was pretty interesting. Christian has some really great insights and things for us to think about as we consider how we perceive one another how we present ourselves, and what that looks like as we show up in the world. Definitely something to keep in mind as we navigate our spaces. So that's a wrap for this episode, but I'll be talking to you soon. In the meantime, be safe out there. Share a smile with someone and please find an opportunity to make someone feel welcome. Love y'all. Talk to you soon.

43:37

You You've been listening to our true colors.